Thursday, February 10, 2011

I Am Cold


My veins are ice my breath is dry
While winter burns my soul
And here I stand: an island lone
I’m so much less than whole

The sea of voices flow around
To barely glance my shores
My bluff-faced walls have kept me safe
But now I wish for more

An island lone enshroud in dark
Is torn to shreds by breeze
And shore’s pale comfort doesn’t last
When waves erode with ease

The rising tide heralds the sun
While I wait for a graze
Of some warm skin upon my sand
Or sun’s all burning blaze

And there! A sailor, here at last!
He must have seen my fire
His coming now has rescued me:
A lone and starved vampire


(Poetry Communities:
http://bigtentpoetry.org/
http://poetryblogroll.blogspot.com/2011/02/thursday-think-tank-35-shadows.html)
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16 comments:

  1. Sherry Blue SkyFebruary 10, 2011 at 2:26 p.m.

    Wowzers! this was an interesting poem. The way it started off, I thought of it as a metaphysical piece....then it flowed into actual physical events, and had a totally unexpected ending. Cool surprise! Well done. I LOVE your main photo - is that the west coast????

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  2. LenaFebruary 10, 2011 at 2:43 p.m.

    This is fantastic.
    I loved this one so much. It's probably up there in the ranks of my favourite poems that you've written. Very well written.

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  3. Brother OllieFebruary 10, 2011 at 4:57 p.m.

    What a bummer...hey Vampires gotta eat.

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  4. AutumnFebruary 10, 2011 at 5:26 p.m.

    I found this very neat. Everybody finds something or other something or other, and when I really thought, I thought "hey... this is kind of neat."
    Unlike my normal blog skims, I read this over three times. I like it's little tune, but how it is serious too. It is in a word... neat!

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  5. Fyodor LewisFebruary 10, 2011 at 11:12 p.m.

    Thanks for the comments everyone. Sherry, that is indeed the west coast in my main photo, good call. :) It's Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada.

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  6. DeborahFebruary 11, 2011 at 4:08 a.m.

    I wasn't expecting the last line ... well done!

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2011 at 5:37 a.m.

    Good poem with an ouch in the tail.

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  8. nanFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:25 a.m.

    perfect illustration of the admonition: be careful what you wish for. Nicely done!

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  9. m. lloyd hedelFebruary 11, 2011 at 6:46 a.m.

    ah, irony, always good for a chuckle. well done!

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  10. Laurie KolpFebruary 11, 2011 at 7:59 a.m.

    I love the rhythm and rhyme... mysterious.

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  11. Elizabeth JohnsonFebruary 11, 2011 at 9:02 a.m.

    Intriguing and unexpected. Great poem!

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  12. Eileen T O'Neill .....February 11, 2011 at 11:19 a.m.

    Fyodor,
    What a very powerful piece of writing.
    My interest was held right until that superb final line!

    Best wishes, Eileen

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  13. flaubertFebruary 11, 2011 at 11:23 a.m.

    Quite intriguing and that surprise ending, wow!

    Pamela

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  14. ElizabethFebruary 11, 2011 at 12:17 p.m.

    I enjoyed reading and the surprise on the end.

    Elizabeth

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  15. KellyFebruary 11, 2011 at 10:02 p.m.

    I too enjoyed the rhythm/rhyme scheme and the jolt at the end. Would add that your word choices -- "veins," "enshroud," "pale comfort" really work to set the chilling tone. Great piece.

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  16. Tumblewords:February 12, 2011 at 12:59 p.m.

    Love the style and the movement as well the twist at the end.

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