Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Crescendo


I rage, I toil, I cower and sweat.
I have not met my maker yet
and if I meet him I shall say,
‘Please come again another day.
I am not ready. I am not ripe.
The times not right!’ I’d wail and gripe.
I’d beg of him right there some sign
that he was fair; that fate aligned
and gave me all that I deserved
not less and from the path I swerved
by some dark power ill beset
to full crescendo of regret.

And in the whisper there I heard
the tempest break at silent words.
I knew, and he reminds me now,
that I deserved much worse allowed
for fate is held by piercèd hands
that save each one from fair demands.
From instant darkness, ash, and flame
and takes upon himself the blame

So God the Father please forgive
my angry heart; my will to live.
Teach me—slowly—how to die
that I might live for more than lies—
not what I see but for the hearts
That beat for thee—in distant parts—
a tune you love to hear and share:
The music of the lives you cared
enough to bring out from the dark.
And each that beats and stills you mark
as yours—this orchestra of strings.
So take my heart and make me sing:

Now in life and then in death,
may all I do; may every breath
be all for you my Elohim—
the Ever Greater Than He Seems.

Friday, September 30, 2011

I Defy Despair

I defy despair
till the moment after my last breath
takes me elsewhere.

I defy despair
in the midst of turmoils
economic, environmental and emotional

I defy it
when all I own is dust
when all I know is gone
when all I love has passed
away
I defy despair

I defy it when
those in charge act like children
when suffering spreads like a wound
when the rational seems defeated by madness
when the voices of children
starved and helpless
go unanswered
I defy despair

And I do not defy it with anger
I do not fling impotent rage into the wind
I do not shout at the sky
Or rail against the stars

I defy it quietly and simply
serenely and constantly
persistently and resolutely
with that powerful
four letter word...

Hope.

Just try to defy that.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Blindness

They say, "love is blind"
Well so is hope.

Hope is blind.
Unafraid of darkness
Unperturbed by danger
Unmoved by failure
Hope is blind.

And there in the darkest night
There at the pinnacle of failure
There surrounded by enemies
Hope lives on.

Hope is defiant and lasting
And for as long as you hold on to hope
Hope holds on to you.

No tunnel goes forever
No valley or gorge is without bottom
Every ocean has a shore
And the sun will rise
For a million years more.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Ne Me Quitte Pas


I was walking through a blasted grove
Of figs and berries burnt to ash
This land once full of green and growth
Now brought that memory down to crash.

And in that land of blackened pillars
That seemed a Hades temple cold
I saw a flash of white above me
Too bright for prematurely old

Eyes that squint against the gleaming
Inside a world that has gone grey
Oft miss a beacon’s guiding
When from the path their feet do stray.

And here despite my squinting wonder
I saw alight upon a tree
A dove as bright as morning’s splendour
And brighter still than memories.

And there I froze awake in awe
To see so near such beauty live.
Why his pause and hesitation
Where life so long had ceased to give

Its hope and splendour at its being
It seems now just a heavy weight
But yet that bird came down alighting
As if defying seems of fate.

And here he stays nearby beside me
Though he seems so out of place
He should for every ’visioned reason
Take flight from this our burning race

Perhaps because he came to meet me
In this unholy blasted waste
He may remain right here beside me
To guide me to a better place.

(Ne me quitte pas)
You’re all the hope that I could find.
(Ne me quitte pas)
Without you I’ll just wander blind.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Shadows Lit and Fled



The shadows lit and fled within the cave-
The hole of past iniquities piled high
And packed closer than stacked Parisian ’combs
Of bones on bones; mixed neighbours friends and foes
Till numbers disappear with all the names.
Yet when the crack of earthquake, pain and trial
Broke through the granite roof of strong facades
And split the cave in two down to the roots
The sunlight shone on bones in milling piles
Where darkness once held uncontested sway.
And in those dry and dusty bones within
That cold Platonic cave new life begins
To spark a fire in marrow stiff and old.
Life from death; a life renewed as phoenix
Wings and lasting beneath the phoenix star.
For now a valley is where once a cave
Held its crowded prisoners beneath dark,
Heavy earth and rock to dry out and wait
For what they did not know. These bones they have
Memories but no knowledge and hoping
Not much for futures, they forgot the hopes
In pasts. Before the end they grew as they
Now appear: cynical and hard and lone.
They saw only I’s and me’s and not we’s
But each a king, each a queen in their own
Reckoning, till parched and lost they became
All indistinguishable pale, dry bones.
The names and titles and wealth and everything
They once were and thought and fought over was
Forgotten; nameless heaps in an arid
Valley. There they should remain, forever,
A hidden mystery of death and woe.
Yet despite everything that lives and seems
And all that had ever lived a whisper,
A voice, a word arose beneath the sun
To light the still burning fire in these bones.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Broken Spears


Dropping old tools;
Last of
Our recourses

Laid heavy so
In our
Letting arms

Matchstick shafts snapped
And scattered
Like sparks

To light warming
Fires in
Cold hearts

Never to burn
Eyes like
Molotov fear.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Beneath a Fearless Sun


Beneath a fearless sun
I wander
With only a name and a face
And no story to put to them

I remember the stars
Their light once guided me home
But now
Beneath a fearless sun
I wander

I could stare for hours
Into endless blue
And never see another star
I remember the stars
Their light once guided me home

Their light
And the light of that smile
The one that lit towns from here
To that land of heavy winters
Facing that smile
I could stare for hours
And never see another star

But from here
To that land of heavy winters
I wander
In search of the story
To put to this name (and face)
Remembering the stars
And hoping
Their light will guide me home
To a smile
That lights towns
Beneath a fearless sun

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Young Astronomer


One night a young astronomer
Did gaze upon a star
And saw it glowing brightly there
Like the antithesis of tar

He gathered up his scholar peers
To ask what it could mean
But they all said, “it’s meaningless.”
“Ask again if it turns green.”

They jeered and mocked him as they went
Not looking with their eyes
To see a star in daylight blaze -
What could it symbolize?

Yet two did stay to speak with him,
The young astronomer,
One who studied the histories
The other literature

They spoke of tales and prophecies
In some far western land
Of a coming king and saviour
Who would rise to God’s right hand

They asked the young astronomer
If he could lead them to
The place beneath the star’s zenith
Without further ado

The boy surprised to hear all this
Began to hesitate
But in the end he chose to lead
Their long adventure great

The men they packed their camels high
Provisions stacked in cliffs
And yet the boy said, “One more thing!”
“A king deserves some gifts.”

The two rich wise men thought to give
And spare no small expense
Thus they found the most lavish gifts
Purest gold and frankincense

The young lad wished to give as well
A kingly gift like myrrh
He worked and saved and sold his scrolls
His small means did not deter

He bought his gift and then they left
Just guided by a star
And through the desert and the plains
They journeyed from afar

After questing lengthened days through
Lands barren, burnt and wild
They came to a small Jewish town
And found a Jewish child

“This child,” said they, “Will one day be
The King above all kings
Great joy and mercy, justice too,
Love and hope is what he brings.”

They laid their wealthy presents down
At the small boy’s tiny feet
And Mary with her husband watched
Them give a royal greet

And then the young astronomer
Said “these our meager gifts
Laid at his feet are naught compared
To He who heals our rifts”

And if they entered in that day
Two magi and a boy
They left that place on homeward paths
Three wise men full of joy.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

In Them, In One

In darkened shacks on blood soaked soil
Warm and cozy in caring arms
It lies

In twilight hours of punishing poverty
Wrapped in blankets bundled
It sleeps

In sparkling towers of reckless riches
Woken at the sound of singing
It smiles

In hovels built by hurting hands
Warned calmly to be careful
It crawls

In fungal homes of suburban sprawls
Weary from playful pouncing
It sits

In a chill cave full of assorted animals
Waiting for its momentous mounting
It cries

In them all
In one more

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A mostly incoherent rant on the state of the world and how I see it

So, I was sitting at my computer going through an interesting comic. It is an ironical cultural comic that spends most of its time making fun of/lamenting the state of the world. Check it out: http://www.viruscomix.com/subnormality.html Warning: It’s not always appropriate or clean and often it is immature so if you are sensitive to those things you might want to give it a pass.

Anyway, so I got to thinking about of the state of the world: For example, sometimes I think it was better in the middle ages… I wonder why people constantly refer to them as the dark ages. Sure, they had their scary looking torture devices and heretics burning at the stake but really the biggest killer in those times was disease and famine. Percentage wise they probably weren’t killing more people by violence then. Now here we are at the peak of scientific development and we have gotten way better at killing and torturing people than the medieval people and we still have disease and famine.

Sure, maybe nobody you know is dying of a disease or famine. But look around you: Africa and Asia are plagued by malaria, poor water conditions and malnutrition killing millions upon millions per year. Scientifically speaking this problem is completely solvable: We have the money, we have the resources and we have the technology to virtually eliminate deaths from malaria, contaminated water and even malnutrition. But what does the world spend its money on?

The lists of most profitable companies I could find online were dominated by: Oil, banks, car companies, utilities providers, insurance agencies, and credit providers. No surprises there, basically all these companies attempt to maintain the status quo. They are governed by one motivating factor: self interest. Yay, self interest. Ayn Rand get bent, you took the American Dream and whored her out to the world in the rags of “Me first”. Ah, but Rand you are not to blame, I know that. You simply told the people what they wanted to hear. When the world has 97 percent of its wealth squarely focused upon a mere three percent of its population it falls to the individuals in that 3 percent to decide what to do with the wealth. If the computer you are reading this on is your own or your relative’s then you are probably in that top 3 percent. And if you are human you are affected by the so-called ‘American Dream’.

Americans spend money on insurance, credit, oil, cars etc. And continue to buy more than they need which props up the giant credit companies, manufacturers, etc. thus maintaining the status quo.  Now, I did just say “Americans spend” but I really mean the rich (middle class included) in general; for to be rich is to be American. The American identity is no longer what it was around the time leading up to the establishment of the constitution: It is no longer that mysterious journey of finding your way in a new world, it is no longer a rejection or reformation of old ways by establishing a new society, it is no longer the desire to pursue happiness for all in a land of exploration and possibilities. Those ideas have been thrown out. See the new America—or shall I say the nouveau riche—of the world: a people based upon a different set of principles (or lack thereof).

There was a ‘once upon a time’ when wealth came with a sense of responsibility—if you were born rich it was because you were born a noble and were therefore part of the leadership. But alas, no more. Now, if you are rich—born or become—you have no responsibility whatsoever. You’re only responsibility is that to yourself, the individual, the self is what matters most and everyone else should worry about themselves (Rand is only one of many authors who have promulgated that dogma). This divorce of wealth and responsibility can be traced back to the self-interested monarchs and lords back in the feudal era and before. The divorce began when the nobles and lords started forgetting the responsibility and just saw the wealth part of their leadership positions. It boiled throughout the middle ages and nearly came to fruition with Cromwell. Yet, Cromwell was not to be successful. The Nobles remained in power (although thoroughly humbled and put in their places—er, somewhat… at least in England). Do I seem ridiculous? Perhaps, I do. Do I actually presume to trace historical self-interest like it was a political or philosophical ideology? No, certainly not, I realize that wanton self-interest is inherent in all individuals. I realize that it is not an opinion that waxes and wanes on the shoulders of social progress. However, looking around myself, I can’t deny that self-interest has indeed waxed into some luminous monster that dominates all western societies and is threatening us all with economic destruction. Can it be traced in history? Perhaps not, but can it be simply disregarded as ahistorical?

No, I think this idea—putting individual before the mass of individuals—came to historical fruition in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, not in what is said upon it but rather in what is left off of it. Thomas Jefferson’s original document (before a whole room full of politicians got their hands on it) said some pretty strong words condemning slavery. Now Jefferson was no modern man; the best alternative he could come up with was shipping all the slaves back to Africa and setting up a “free” “negro” colony. He wasn’t perfect, yet I still appreciate his intentions. Jefferson realized it would be pretty hypocritical of a nation to talk about democracy and free men, etc. yet have hundreds of thousands of people in a state of permanent servitude. He saw that maintaining slavery in America was just switching the Kingship of George with a new American tyrant. Here, at the birthing of the nation, the “founding fathers” had a choice. They had the choice between setting up a nation built on the principles of justice and freedom or setting up a nation that maintained the status quo and made life easier for the whites. Unfortunately, the founding fathers chose the second path.  They placated the southern leadership who demanded to retain their slavery. Thank you, you cowardly politicians. This would lead to the civil war, the civil rights movement, Martin Luther King Jr.’s assassination, Malcolm X’s assassination, years of lynching and prejudice in the south. This whole process of emancipation and the winning of equality was retarded by almost 200 years because of the lack of principles held by the founding fathers. Thank you, you cowardly, worthless founding fathers for ruining the promise of America before it even got started.

This American compromise has now become the global compromise of the “free” nouveau rich. Sure the rebel colonies wouldn’t have had the support of the south if they went against them at that early stage. But they could have fought a civil war right then and there. The death toll would be much smaller and the British would have had to choose either the side of slavery or the side of freedom. Even if America had of lost that war she would have won in the end. The right principles fought for become more powerful the more they are repressed.

Yet now here we are: In a world where all that matters is me and my own transitory state of highly subjective ‘happiness’. Yay America, Yay world, Yay Rand, thank you all for contributing to the current dystopia. The rich and middle class people of the world have swallowed this ‘utopian’ ‘American dream’ hook line and sinker and now we are all shocked that we are choking on it. We are in some disintegrating world from the imaginations of Orwell or Huxley. Orwell’s horrors of the totalitarian state don’t look very frightening to us now but Huxley’s Brave New World is a little closer to where we’re at. Neither however captured the sheer mind numbing ignorant, apathetic, selfish, narcissistic world as it is today. Why are dystopia novels so popular right now? Because we are living in a dystopia!

The medieval era was “dark” and “backwards” and “intolerant” but at least they cared about shit. They didn’t just sit there on their flabby backsides changing the channel every time a fly-eyed African boy came on T.V. asking for the money they spend on their weekly trip to Starbucks. No, people in the medieval ages had to worry about survival under the constant shadow of omnipresent death. They loved more, hated more, worked more and celebrated more than we ‘immortals’ are even capable of comprehending. And there lies the difference: We act as if we are immortal as if we will live forever. Yet one thousand years of technical advances still haven’t pushed us beyond that mystical 120 year peak. Immortal? Pshaw. There are more ways to die now than ever before. If you aren’t born an African in the Congo or Sudan then you can still easily be punching your final ticket from cancer, aids, nuclear war, domestic violence, car accidents, drugs, alcohol, earthquakes, psychopaths, terrorists, etc. etc. So what? Live in fear? Hide in your basement watching cable? Watch make-believe people live make-believe lives on a piece of electrified plasma sandwiched between two sheets of backlit plastic. Yay you! You are worthless. You might as well go die this moment. You don’t contribute to the world at all. You merely suck its life like a flea or a leech. Aw, but a leech is too good for you; even leeches can be beneficial when removing poisons from the blood. Hell, even a flea is too good for you at least they follow their “evolutionary impulse” and breed. What do you do? Live and die for yourself so that after you are gone you won’t matter. You will quickly be forgotten by all the people you supposedly loved and the people you could have helped but never did will not think on your passing for a moment. It will be as if you never existed.

Ah, but I realize that the people I am addressing this to would not even get this far. Perhaps they will not even endeavor to begin to read this rant. They are probably glued to their screens: iPods, TVs, computers. Glued there not doing anything but taking in dross while the short seconds of their stunted lives count down to nothing. Pathetically proving a point I wish would be proved wrong.

But therein lies the hope. There is where the truth resides. I will not wait to see my point proved right. I will go out and prove it wrong. And I know that there are those miniscule few among the wealthy going out and proving it wrong as well. Those people who demand more than themselves. Who demand community, who demand peace, who demand love, who demand things so much more important than transitory prosperity. I will stand with those few who defy the army of the apathetically indolent. We will stand not for ourselves but for the other: For the poor, for the neighbor, for the sick, for the brothers, for the weak, for the sisters, for the oppressed, for the mothers. For all but ourselves and we shall forget ourselves focused solely on our goal: to love, to help, to build. We will not compromise. We will not give in. We will not be tempted by the slow wasting of our lives but we will go onwards against the currents of apathy up river to a new land. Not to a utopia but towards a conscious rejection of the dystopia’s hold; A conscious effort to attempt utopia in spite of our weakness and in spite of almost certain failure. We will aim at perfection and perhaps attain some piece of it here on earth.

Either remain in the dark-age lethargy of self-interest or throw down your mirror-walls and look out to see a window upon the world. This window is not a position from which to watch the world unaffected; but rather a view that informs and demands action. Look, see and act.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Sunfall


The birds have flown to Florida
And we begin our quick ferment
The days are falling faster dead
The cresting light is nearly spent

The failing sun long rests his head
So looking westward we still wait
Not trusting he will rise again
We’re in the waxing night of fate

The veil of darkness hides our plans
But thinly from nocturnal eyes
In pitch we’re strewed forgetting light
In love with bright but rotting lies

And when the winter meets its height
We frozen in a death unseen
Horizon’s edge of glowing sun
Will bleed out warmth on the obscene

And there will burn on all and one
A blaze to light the dark afar
But most with eyes fast shut will fear
The dawn so bright it leaves a scar

And sad it is in all this sphere
There will be just a remnant few
Who overjoyed will stand at spring;
Most will long for winter new

So they will crawl far from the ring
Of sun that burns their frostbite faint
Preferring just the dark of space;
They hide enamored with their taint

Yet those who stood in warmth of grace
Will find they’ve grown new leaves and roots
And not lament the night’s demise
When tasting winter’s ripened fruits

(The birds flew down to Florida
But will to reborn trees restore
Ferment is foiled in the rise
Of spring that comes forevermore.)