The Grand Risk

And I said that if they don't
then you will
leave...
but I knew that the truth doesn't
break
down so simply,
because there
at the breaking
and in the moment of
retreat
the tale of the steps you took
and the hearts that
meet
are lost in the blur of the 
momentary.


Before the smudging
of present sufferings
there was love and
hope
smiles and
laughs
and eventually
those things that will last on
into life and memory. 
And we look back
and see
and know
it was worth it to
go past this 
flickering hesitation. 


Go past this and don't
build those comfort walls
of fluffy cells
in the cold institute of your 
self-embracing solitude. 
Go past this into that
grand risk
of a heart open to 
greater loves than this.

My Choice Draught

I’m inebriated on life

And all it has to offer

I keep taking big gulps

—Coughing, spluttering, spilling—

Rather than sips and swallows.

There is so much music

Sights, smells, things to try

Tastes to taste

Feelings to feel

Thoughts to think

There are so many books,

Sports, jobs, games, skills, responsibilities

And the people!

The people!

There are so many of them

So many of us

So many stories,

Tales of families, sorrows, joys

Of evil, good and all that’s between,

Friends, acquaintances, lovers, and all who could be...

Why is it that so few will touch my life?

So few... and so many...

I am drunk on presence

And thirsting for presence

I vacillate between extreme loneliness

And a desire for solitude

But the people

I wouldn’t give them up

I wouldn’t go sober

For while they kill me, enrage me,

Love me, challenge me, seduce me,

Question me, inform me, teach me,

Learn from me, touch me, strike me,

Enable me, analyze me, judge me,

Forgive me, kiss me, speak to me,

Destroy me and rebuild me

I know that I would not be me

Without you.

Let us get drunk on our presence

On our very being, and that being

Together.

I Made Myself...

I made myself an island

And carved its edges mild

I made myself an island

But It still became the wild

I made myself an island

Safe from all the waves

I made myself an island

Where I’ll dig my grave

I made myself an island

And it stands here still, alone

I made myself an island

When I really want a home

I made myself an island

And my walls became the sea

I made myself an island

Oh Lord what’s become of me?

She Walked Between

Who walked between my winters
And left a warm impression there
Who walked between these islands
Reminding me of bridges fair

Who scaled the walls so frozen
Who added life to all the bare
And plain facades I'd chosen
To mask me from a luring stare
Of eyes that keep their secrets
While calling one to care

Who left before the winter
Could freeze her anywhere.

Solitary

I am a solitary man. Alone, trapped, with only my thoughts to keep me company.
I am a wandering soul. Traveling, tearing at roots, floating untethered.
I am the silent one. Voice boxed in my voice box. Its dark prison is my mouth and my teeth are the bars.
I graze by lives, never connecting. Lightly alighting upon many never resting, never staying.
Like a dandelion seed blown in a dry land, I wander aimless.
I want to know more than gentle passings.
I want to experience more than a light touch.
Don't we all?
We are all floating like blind fairies in a gale.
Fate's wind throws us where it will.
We brush by each other and crash into one another.
Stay.
I want you to stay.
Right here by my side.
For a minute, for an hour, for a day.
Just tell me where you are.
Show me who you are.
And I will come there and grasp you.
And maybe short roots will form.
Me to you, you to me.
And others could come.
Her to you.
Him to me.
And we could form a chain.
Not a net or web; thin and easily broken.
But a chain of lives connected, connecting.
Supporting, binding.
A chain of lives growing around the globe and filling it with hope.
I will hope.
Maybe one day we will do more than brush mutely by.

- F.L.