Monday, October 11, 2010

The Things I’m Not Usually Thankful For

It is Canadian Thanksgiving today. In my family we usually go around the table before the big feast saying what we are thankful for. We usually all say the same things each year: We are thankful for our family, friends, the roof over our heads, being healthy, food, forgiveness, etc. This year I decided to go about it a little differently. I’m going to look at the things in my life I wouldn't normally be thankful for and try to see them as things that I can be thankful for.
I am thankful for…
  • The times that I’m sick because it makes me value the times that I’m healthy and it reminds me that I’m not dead
  • Mosquitoes because without them I might not have anything to do when I’m in Manitoba
  • Bad drivers because they make me look and feel like a pro
  • Bad haircuts because at least it’s not a mullet or a bowl cut
  • The fact that I spill liquids more than the average five-year-old because it makes every drink an experience in risk management
  • The overstuffed feeling after a turkey dinner because it reminds me that I’m a pig and should eat less
  • Television because all I have to do is flip through the channels for five minutes to get an ego boost
  • People who make me look stupid without even trying because without them I would have no motivation to learn
  • All the women who have rejected me because without them I might turn into an overconfident egomaniacal chauvinist
  • Pimples because: “Hey, I can’t look good everyday”
  • Rainy days because without them there would be no flowers (or Vancouver)
  • All the misconceptions I carry with me every day because it is always exciting and/or interesting when they fall apart
  • Prejudiced people who say stupid things because without them certain issues wouldn’t be faced and the smart prejudiced people (the ones who remain silent) could keep their views unchecked and uncontested
  • The times I embarrass myself publically because they usually make for good stories
  • Working dead-end, hard, unrewarding jobs because they make me take my education seriously
  • Meeting and talking to people who disagree passionately with me because without them my views would be weak and untried
  • Politicians because they remind me that even adults can act like children
  • Nightmares because it makes me appreciate waking up so much more
  • Vomiting because sometimes some of the stuff inside of you just needs to get out
  • Vanity because without it I would have hair down to my shoulders, a scraggly beard, a unibrow, and I’d wear hoodies all the time
  • City noise because it makes you appreciate the quiet of the country
  • Country silence because it makes you appreciate the noise of the city
  • Country music because it makes all the other genres sound so much better in comparison
  • Constipation because it reminds me that I’m not starving
  • Dandruff because at least I have hair
  • Expensive phone bills because it means I have friends I’m talking to (or at least very persistent relatives)
  • 24-hour news channels because they are constantly making themselves irrelevant
  • Losing things that I value because it reminds me that what I value shouldn’t be things
  • Funerals because they remind me to value the time I have and the people I have to share it with
  • Lonely times because it makes me value the people around me
  • Failing because it gives me a chance to start over from scratch
  • The times I act like a complete tool because hopefully I will realize it afterwards, or someone will point it out, and I will become a better person
  • And I am thankful for the people who will never read anything I write because it reminds me that there are even more important things in life than what I am particularly passionate about

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